An Adventure In Wonderland
by Nerdygal123
Summary: It's a story set 2 months after Alice came back to Earth. It is told from the viewpoint of Hatter.
1. Chapter 1

I sat there, in the hallway, trying very hard not to make eye contact with her mother. I do believe Alice and I scared her when I came from Wonderland two months ago.

"Ha-David! You're here!" Alice came bolting out of her room and into my arms.

"Of course!" I said, giving her a peck on her nose.

She stepped back. "Do you like it?" She spun around to show me her rose-colored dress.

"It is nowhere near as becoming as your blue dress with that lovely purple coat," I answered.

"It is very nice, Alice," Carol (Alice's mother) interjected.

"Well, it will do anyway. Shall we get going?" I held open the door and let Alice walk through.

As soon as the door was shut and we were walking, I spoke up. "When are we going to tell her about Wonderland? I don't think I can keep up this whole 'David' thing much longer."

"Oh Hatter! Do we have to tell her? Can't we just go back?" Alice begged and pleaded.

"Do you know what kind of havoc is going on there? Mad March is still on the loose, they haven't put all the Oysters back in your world, I don't believe that the Queen of Hearts is behind bars, God only knows if Charlie's okay!" I ranted on, until she had heard enough and stopped me with a kiss. "We haven't done that in a while…" I said, astounded.

We kissed again. "You know what I should be shouting?" I asked.

"No, what?"

"What I should be saying is, 'I JUST SNOGGED THE SAVIOR OF WON-" Alice stopped me again, with a snog, of course, and then put a finger to her lips.

"Shhh. They think Wonderland is a fairy tale."

People starred at us as we walked through to park. Alice blushed and my face felt hot.

"I can't find my hat. It ruins my name. "Hatter." They call me that for a reason. Because I always wear my hat. Always." I whined.

"But I thought-" Alice began to ask.

"That was in Wonderland. I feel stupid without my hat."

"We can always get another hat later! Let's just get through lunch first!" She dragged me over to a table outside a café.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, do they have that highly acclaimed "pizza" you spoke of here?" I asked Alice, attempting to make conversation.

"Well, this place is called "The Pizza Palace." What do you think?" She replied, matter-of-factly.

"Oh." I didn't have much of a sarcastic answer to that.

Eventually, after short, skippy chat, a waitress showed up to take our orders.

"We'll have a large pepperoni pizza. That's it." Alice ordered, before I could make a fool of myself.

"Your order'll show up soon enough," said the waitress, tiredly.

"This is delicious! Compared to this, raw emotions taste like, like, drywall!" I cried, cramming more pizza into my face.

"I figured you'd enjoy it," laughed Alice, grinning. "You've almost finished that whole pizza! Are you ready to go?"

Disappointed, I said, "I suppose. Let's go for a walk."

"Lemme pay first!" She dished out the cash onto the table. "Where do you want to walk?"

"Just to and around that park, over there," I pointed. So we walked around until we found a quiet spot, only occupied by a wooden bench.

"You know, Jack, nor anyone else, is here to stop us…" I flirted. I pulled Alice close. "I wouldn't want to go back to Wonderland without you, that's why I'm so opposed to going back."

"I love you, you know that, right?" Alice and I kissed for a long time.

"You've got me so wrapped around your finger, you could burst into song and I wouldn't at all find it odd," I noted.

"You are madder than a box of frogs." Alice leaned in, hand on my chest.

"You got over me quick enough, Alice. Nice to see you again, Hatter." Alice and I both spun around to face the familiar voice.


	3. Chapter 3

"Jack! It's been a while!" Alice ran to Jack Heart, son of the Queen of Hearts, her old boyfriend.

"Two months!" I threw my arms up in the air. "It's been two months! Jack, we _were_ a bit busy! What is it you want?"

"There's a problem in Wonderland," Jack said, solemnly.

"Of course there is. Lovely. What's the problem?" I felt miserable. Why did I even bother thinking Alice and I were going to live semi-normal, happy lives?

"Well, the Dodo stole the Stone of Wonderland and is now reeking havoc throughout Wonderland."

"And no one can stop him?" Alice inquired.

"No."

"Not even the Suits?" I asked.

"No, not even the Suits."

I scratched my head, thought for a moment and finally said, "Well, you're screwed. Come on, Alice. We can't help Jack or Wonderland."

I turned around to go, but Alice cut in front of me and smacked me. "We are going to help in anyway we possibly can. Got it?" She threatened.

"Yeah, okay, owww…" I managed to stammer.

"So where's the Looking Glass now?" She asked Jack, turning away from me.

"Back at some hotel, I didn't catch the name," he answered, as if it was part of any old conversation.

"Yeah, you probably didn't 'cuz you're such a dolt," I muttered to myself, regaining my composure.

"Well, come on, let's get going," Jack took the lead and walked through the park.

Alice bounded along next to him. She didn't still have feelings for him…. Did she?

I dragged myself along behind them.

Jack made small talk with Alice on the way there. "I still have romantic feelings for you, Alice," he commented, and surprised Alice and me, both.

Alright, it wasn't small talk as much as it was please-come-back-to-me-I-love-you talk.

I ran up in front of the stalled Alice and Jack. "Oh yeah? Well, guess what! Alice and I are dating, and are very serious, so back off!" I yelled. If they couldn't figure out I was the jealous type, they were very, very stupid.

Innocent bystanders stopped to stare at Jack, Alice and me.

"Dating? Well, now, I wouldn't want to interfere on that, would I?" Not the response I was expecting from Jack. He somehow managed to keep his cool.

"Calm down, Hatter. People are staring. And it isn't like I would go back to him. No offense, Jack." Alice attempted to calm me down.

"Prove it," I pouted, keeping up my baby-ish temper-tantrum.

"Okay…" She stood up and snogged me. Which I wasn't expecting. "Are you happy yet?"

"I guess," I whined.

"Well, we had better get going before Dodo can shut down the Looking Glass." Jack pointed to a near-by skyscraper, indicating where he had evidentially come back to Earth.


	4. Chapter 4

"When we get to Wonderland, can we stop by the Tea Shop?" I asked.

"I suppose. Why?" answered Jack.

"'Cuz I lost my hat and would like to get another."

"Um, sure." Jack seemed weirded out by the fact I needed to get my hat.

I am very protective of 1) my hat, 2) my girlfriend, and 3) my hair. Notice how 'hat' is #1. I need my hat. It's practically part of my being. The past two months had been hell on earth, except for Alice, of course. So now that I had an excuse to go back to Wonderland, I could get my hat. Yay.

"Where, exactly, in the hotel did you fall through?" Alice wondered, imploringly.

"The lobby," Jack said.

"Oh, so it won't look strange in the slightest to go walking through a mirror in a busy hotel lobby," I supposed sarcastically.

"Well, actually, I didn't think of that…" Jack muttered.

"No, of course not. See, Alice? We're, no, scratch that, not 'we're' but Wonderland is screwed." I stated.

"Do I need to reinforce my message to you, Hatter, that we are going to help both Jack and Wonderland? Hmm?" threatened Alice.

I had learned not to cross a black-belt by then. So I shook my head and hoped she wouldn't attack me.

"Good. Shall we get going, Jack? Hatter?"

We entered the hotel, finally. The gold-framed Looking Glass hung nonchalantly on the wall.

"May I help you?" A very (very) attractive woman asked us from behind a counter.

"Yes, you can…" I sorta, kinda flirted with this attractive person. Sorta.

And Alice's immediate response was to slap me on the back of my head. "No, we don't. Thank you anyway. Come on."

"Oww, I just asked for help… Oww…" I rubbed the back of my head. "Are you seriously just going to walk through a mirror, in broad day-light? Really?"

"Well, we don't have much of a choice, do we?" Jack stepped through the mirror.

"How did he- Where did he-?" stuttered the receptionist.

"Do not ask." I replied.

She nodded furiously, to Alice's entertainment and mine.

"Ready?" Alice held out her hand.

"Not really. But I never will be, you know?" I took her hand and we stepped through the mirror.


	5. Chapter 5

The fall through the Looking Glass was a vomit-inducing, dizzying thrill ride, as always. And the first Alice did after falling through was to fall back into my arms and faint. Which is incredibly unhelpful when you're surrounded by gunmen.

Jack held his hands up in the air.

"I'm holding an unconscious woman, but I swear I have no weapons," I stammered.

"Drop her." A man in black pointed a gun at my head.

"She's my girlfriend!" I cried. 'Girlfriend' is number two on my most-important things list, remember?

"She's a threat! I _will _pull this trigger…" warned the obviously upset man with a gun.

"Alice, baby, wake up now… Come on, I need your awesome ninja skills…" I whispered. "Well guess what? You'll have to shoot me first!" I screamed.

"Wait, stop. STOP, YOU IMBUSSILES!!!" shouted a voice. "Put down your guns!"

"But you gave us strict orders to shoot anyone who- ow…" The apparent leader was kicked down and face-planted on the marble floor.

"Well, we shouldn't shoot friends, should we?"

I couldn't find the source of the voice. "Who are you?"

"Hatter, don't you remember me?"

"Dodo?"

"Of course. Would you like some help up?" Dodo held out his hand. I took it and he picked me up. The semi-conscious Alice leaned on me.

"Don't touch her." I slapped away Dodo's hand as he tried to help me lift her. I would do fine on my own.

"Take Heart to the holding cell. We don't need _him_ here," Dodo commanded the gunmen. "So, what brings you back to Wonderland? I thought you ran off to chase a pretty Oyster."

"I did. And succeeded. She's right here." Something glinted on his finger. "Is that the Stone of Wonderland?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Dodo! Hatter, get away before he attacks us!" Alice was awake and kicking, quite literally. Her boot made contact with my arm.

"Alice, love, calm down." Dodo put a hand on her knee; she slapped it away. He looked hurt.

"Where's Jack? Hatter, what happened? Is that the Stone of Wonderland?" She looked around frantically.

"In a holding cell, a lot, and yes. Okay, owww." I answered all her questions in one fell swoop. She put her arms around me and began to cry. I held her tight. "Look what you've done. All because of that damn ring. It's always that damn ring."

"Don't you see, Hatter? You and Alice were obviously called to help me rule. She's the Alice of legend. Everyone wins." Dodo explained his reasoning for our showing up. What is it with Wonderlandians and people of legend?

"No thanks, I think we'll pass," I said quickly.

"No, I think you will." He pulled out a gun from his coat.

"It's a gun. Always a gun. What is it with you people? Alice, we'd better run now."

Alice, understanding the situation, shot up and began to run.

"_**CRACK!" **_Dodo's gun went off.

Alice fell to the ground, motionless.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" I screeched. "Alice! Please be okay, please be okay…" I ran over and cradled her in my arms.

Her breathing shallowed.

I screamed, began to bawl and rushed at Dodo. Punching him in the face, I yelled. "Do you have any idea what I've been through for her? Do you?" I jabbed and attacked him, thoughts on nothing other than the thought of if Alice is dead I'm going to rearrange his anatomy. "GET LOST!  
And I threw him out to the mercy of Jack and his gunmen.

The Stone of Wonderland was the last thing on my mind.

"Alice, Alice, don't die… Please don't die…" I held her in my arms. Tears ran down my face. "You can't! You just can't!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Previously:**

_"Alice, Alice, don't die… Please don't die…" I held her in my arms. Tears ran down my face. "You can't! You just can't!"_

_

* * *

_

But there was no blood.

And I heard laughing. From Alice.

"Body armor. I've got body armor." I heard her wheeze, her voice sounded winded.

"Wha- Alice! You're okay! Thank God!" I hugged her tight.

"Okay, Hatter, oww. Armor with a bullet in it digging into my skin. Ow." She attempted to pull away.

"I should slap you, but I won't." I noted.

"That's nice, I guess."

"Why do I keep risking my neck for you? Why?" I looked into her blue eyes. "Oh yeah, so I can do this…" And I kissed her long and sweet.

"I wouldn't die on you Hatter. I don't think it'd be possible." Alice managed to break away. "I just love you too much."

We leaned in for another kiss when Jack walked back into the marble room.

"What is it with you, Heart? Must you always interrupt the kissing? Really?" I busted with jealousy.

"I just wanted to let you know that Dodo got away. With the ring." Jack slunk back into the holding cell room, injured.

"Oh." I starred, dumbfounded, at the doorway.

"Good job, Hatter," Alice said, sounding damaged.

"What is it with you and Jack? You don't like him anymore, do you?"

"I still care about him."

"I am genuinely hurt, Alice. What about your current boyfriend, huh? What about me? Do have to dump me in order for me to get some love? Really?" I yelled, envious and angry. Which clearly isn't a good mix.

"What happened to the waterworks, Hatter?" She wondered aloud.

"Listen, Alice, I don't even want to be here. And, if I got my way, we would go get the Dodo, find the ring, and go home. Without Jack. And so far, all you've managed to do is get shot and scare me!" I began to rant. "So, while you bask in the glory of Jack, I'm actually going to do what we came here for! I'm going to get my hat, destroy Dodo and go home. To Earth. Not here. Without you."

"But-" Alice gasped.

"No, Alice. I'm going. And there isn't a thing you can do to stop me."

And I walked out of the marble room, out of a doorway, and onto the streets of Wonderland.


	8. Chapter 8

_Okay, in this chapter, I've given Duchess a name, and it's a bit longer, because it's my last post of 2009! So happy New Year! Please enjoy!

* * *

_

I grumbled to myself as I walked down the sidewalk. "Stupid Alice, stupid Jack, stupid Wonderland…"

By now I felt terrible. 'It's your first fight with your girlfriend. You're aloud to feel miserable. Just get rid of your angst, get your hat and go back. Simple. Every couple has their fits and fights.'

And then the other side of my brain kicked in. "She'll hate me. She'll never want to see me again. Ever." I muttered to myself.

I continued to walk and mutter to myself until I reached my Tea Shop. Nothing seemed out of place until I opened my door.

The flowers had wilted and the grass had browned. The table was broken and the chair was overturned. The distilled emotions I had left out in the open on my shelves had disappeared. Teapots, cups and saucers were smashed and broken on the floor.

Being as protective as I am about my tea, I immediately ran to the place where I stored my huge quantity of tea.

Every single bag of tea, tea leaf and even the one box of instant iced tea crystals was gone, much to my surprise.

"Who steals _tea?_" I exclaimed. "I mean, _really??? _Of all the stuff they coulda stolen!"

"Slurrrrrrp…. Mmmmm…" I heard a strange noise coming from the Auction Room.

"Huh?" I went out to explore.

There, sitting on the floor, sat the Duchess, sipping _my_ tea.

Obviously, she didn't notice me. So I spoke. "Duchess?"

"Wha-?" She looked up. Her expression turned from relaxed to scared out of her mind. She shielded her face with her arms. "Don't shoot!"

"I won't! Why are you here?"

"I… I needed a place to stay." She seemed really scared and nervous. I, of course, being the egotistical person I am, felt as if I had power. A lot of it.

"But you're the Duchess! You've power! And money!"

"Not since Dodo took power." She said it with disgust and frustration.

"But, Duchess-" I began.

She cut me off. "Don't call me that. I'm not a duchess, not anymore. My name's Violet. Who are you?"

"Hatter. You broke into _my _tea shop!"

"Oh. Sorry." She smiled apologetically. "This is very good tea, though."

I wasn't difficult to forgive the grinning, golden-haired beauty. She was so sweet and, well, attractive.

'What are you thinking? You love Alice, you dope!' My left brain yelled.

'She's attractive and you're 26. You're aloud to think other women are cute. Remember? Alice always says that 'George Clooney' is hot, whoever that is. And she told you not to be jealous.' The right side chimed in.

Even I knew that Alice's brain worked different than mine. Also, I doubted her brain had arguments within it self.

"Hatter?" I snapped from my thoughts. "You okay?"

I wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth. "Um, yeah. Do you mind if I have some of that tea?"

"Well, it's yours isn't it?"

After several cups of soothing hot tea, Duchess, sorry, Violet and I had become great friends.

* * *

Drunk on delicious tea, Violet had fallen asleep. I was absent-mindedly stroking her hair.

"_**CRASH!**_" I heard a window shatter. "I know you're in here, Duchess," a voice yelled. "Come out with your hands up and I won't shoot."

"Wake up…" I whispered and shook Violet until she woke up.

"Come 'ere Duchess!"

"Oh no! I'm sorry I got you into this mess," she apologized.

"That's one of Dodo's minions?" I asked.

"Uh-huh, so keep quiet."

So we kept silent until I remembered something.

"My hat!"

"What?" Violet attempted to keep her voice down.

I scrambled to my feet and ran to my former office. I rushed to the tea-storage area, where I also kept my extra hats. I grabbed a hat, and was about to announce that everything was okay, when I ran smack into the gunman who had earlier eaten marble flooring right in front of me. I wondered if he remembered me.

"You again." He growled. Yeah, he remembered me. "Where's your friend, huh? The blond one?"

"Violet, get out!" I yelled as the gunman tackled me.

"Who the hell is 'Violet?'" asked the less than bright man who was now had me pinned to the floor.

"Ow, ow, ow… She's my, um, girlfriend?" I lied.

"But I thought Alice of legend was your girlfriend."

"Good God, does everyone know about that?"

"Where's the Duchess?"

"Hi-ya!" A bright purple high-heeled shoe of doom was thrown at the back of the barbaric gunman's head. Sadly, it was just a few inches short. The clatter of the shoe hitting the floor caught his attention.

He pulled me up by the hair ("Watch it!" I exclaimed. I had a death grip on my hat, though.) and walked me over to Violet, who he easily tossed over his shoulder, and walked out the back door of my tea shop.


	9. Chapter 9

I rubbed my scalp as stupid gunman #1 (who's name I now declare to be 'Bob') dropped Violet and me on the floor.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" asked Dodo, raising his eyebrows. "You've brought me two fugitives. Good job. I guess I won't have to feed you to the crocodile."

Bob shuttered.

"You're excused."

Bob scampered out of the room like a rabbit late for tea.

"Hatter and Duchess. How lovely to see you both."

"Humph." Violet and I both grunted at the same time.

"You don't seem at all pleased to see me, do you? Men, tie them up."

A couple men dressed in black suits tied us to two chairs, back to back.

"I wonder why," I replied sarcastically. I attempted to fight the knots, but they seemed untangle-able. "Why a crocodile? Beheading seems easier."

"'How does the little crocodile improve his shining tail?'" answered Dodo.

"You're using the password of the Resistance as an inspiration for punishment?"

"Yes. And, as luck would have it, that will be your fate fairly soon."

"What?" cried Violet. "What kind of psychotic, sick freak are you?"

"Would you prefer to be alive or dead when you're fed to the little beast?" He grinned.

She screamed. The wide palace doors creaked open.

"Leave me alone!"

"Get off of her!"

"Back off!"

I turned my head to face the entrance. Alice and Jack were slowly picking off gunmen one by one and getting nearer and nearer to Violet and me.

"Alice!" I yelled.

"Jack!" Violet screamed.

"Hatter!"

"Violet!"

"Yeah, that's us, get us out of here!" I called.

Jack answered, "Sorry, we're a bit a busy!"

"ATTACK!" I heard Dodo yell above the confusion.

Men with bows and arrows, swords, guns, and three men with darts entered the room.

Alice flipped over a swordsman, took his sword and sliced through the ropes. "Get out!" she yelled.

A man with a pistol came up behind her. I punched him in the face before he could touch her.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

We split up from there, Alice taking the left side of the room with Jack, Violet and I taking the right side.

And then a dart hit me in the chest.

I know it must have been poisoned because I was fading fast.

First, my sight became blurry and the ground came up to meet my face, thus imbedding the dart further in my chest.

Then, sounds became faint.

"Hatter, it's over. Dodo got away though," I heard a female voice say. "Hatter? Hatter!" I thought I heard someone scream in the distance.

And then the world went black.

* * *

_Oh no! What will happen to Hatter? Chapter 10 coming up fairly soon! _

_HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I hope you had a great start for 2010. _


	10. Chapter 10

**PREVIOUSLY: **

_First, my sight became blurry and the ground came up to meet my face, thus imbedding the dart further in my chest._

_ Then, sounds became faint. _

_ "Hatter, it's over. Dodo got away though," I heard a female voice say. "Hatter? Hatter!" I thought I heard someone scream in the distance._

_ And then the world went black.

* * *

_

I awoke lying in a fluffy bed.

I don't know how I got there.

And my shirt was wide open. The dart was gone, and there was a small hickey where the dart had been.

"Alice? Violet?" After a few moments of silence, I weakly added, "Jack?"

I was sore all over and my muscles ached. It didn't matter to me though; I had to find my friends.

"Hatter! You're awake!" Alice rushed into the room as soon as she heard the bed squeak. "You wanna sit up and I'll get you some tea?"

I nodded weakly. I felt like a toddler, the way she spoke to me. It seemed best to play along.

Alice disappeared again and was back in an instant carrying a tray with two teacups and a teapot as well as some toast.

Then I realized how hungry I was. I waited for some kind of sign from Alice that I could start stuffing my face.

"Go ahead." She seemed to read my mind. "You've been asleep for two days. I hope the tea is okay, Violet found it in your sock. Why do you keep tea in your _sock_?"

"Just in case," I said through bites of toast.

She gave me a strange look.

"What?"

"Normal people don't keep tea in their socks."

"Oh." I took a sip of tea. "What's with this?" I asked, pointing to the hickey on my chest.

"Um," she began awkwardly. "I sucked out the poison from the dart. It's a girl scout trick."

"Girl scout?"

"It's a club. For girls."

"Oh. How did you, Violet and Jack fair from the fight?"

"I'm fine. Just a few cuts and bruises. Jack got shot in the arm and Violet's taking care of him. Violet broke the heel of her shoe and sprained her wrist." Alice explained the whole situation. "I think you were the worst hurt."

"Great." I rubbed my head. I had a splitting headache. "Where are we?"

"Dodo's place. You're sleeping in his bed."

"That, my dear," I said. "is disgusting." And I made a face.

Alice giggled and helped me out of bed.

"Where's my hat?" I asked, buttoning up my shirt.

"Uh, that didn't fair too well…" She rifled through a drawer in a dresser and pulled out my hat.

It was full of holes and it was charred in parts.

"Doesn't look _that _bad," I said hopefully and slapped it on my head. "Does it look okay?"

Alice laughed again. "It'll do. Let's go find Violet and Jack."

We walked into the living room, in which Jack and Violet were mid make-out.

"Sorry," I said, turning bright red. "Didn't mean to interfere…"

Violet broke off her kiss and stood up to hug me. I accepted it awkwardly. "I missed you! I'm very glad you're okay!"

I clumsily joined the hug. "Yeah, I hope you're wrist's okay."

Meanwhile, Alice practically turned green with envy. I could see it in her expression.

I broke out of Violet's bear hug and walked over to Alice. "Jealous much?"

"No." She turned red. "Okay, maybe."

"Don't be." And I kissed her. Right there. "Which brings me to another point. Can I talk to you? In private?"

"Yeah, in the bedroom."

* * *

"What'd you want to tell me?" asked Alice.

"Well," I began. "I've never done this before."

Alice braced herself.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier. When I ran off in a huff. None of this mess would've happened and we'd gotten the Dodo by now, instead of in his house."

Alice looked at me. She waited a beat before attacking me with a kiss. It was long, sweet and passionate.

I came up with my hair messier than usual and hat eskew. "All forgiven then?"

"Mmhmm."

"Good. Now, what are we going to do about Dodo?" I asked, getting to the point.

"We need to discuss this with Violet and Jack."

"I say we find him and shoot him." I told the others my opinion of the situation.

"Sounds good." Jack agreed with me, if only just this once.

"No," said Violet and Alice simultaneously.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because it isn't morally nor legally right." Alice glared at Jack and me.

"So? His shooting us isn't morally or legally right either!" I exclaimed. "And I don't have body armor!"

"Yes, but we aren't Dodo. We're going to take over in a perfectly morally, but possibly not legally, way," Violet explained.

"Oh, there's one _slightly_ important thing I need to tell you," Jack began. "Dodo's working with my mother."

"Dear God."

"Oh no."

A chorus of curses rose from us all.

"No offense to you, Jack, but I despise your mother," said Alice. "Why's she working with Dodo? They _hate _each other."

"If she can avoid jail again, she'll work with anyone, even if it be her enemy."

"Well, your mother is not all that hard to beat," I said. "At least Dodo is an action kind of guy."

"What about the Suits?" asked Violet. "Are they working with him?"

"No, luckily."

"Why do you know this?" I accused.

"I have my sources," replied Jack. "Namely, the Caterpillar. He's a bit of a spy."

"Well, at least we have an secret agent," Alice said, attempting to be helpful.

"So, what are we gonna do?" asked Violet.

"Well, Jack, your mother is a greedy pig, right?" asked Alice.

Jack nodded.

"I think I have a plan…" Alice began to tell us the plan.

* * *

_Okay, sorry for the delay. But I made it sorta long, so I hope that makes up for it. _


	11. Chapter 11

"Where do they live?" I asked.

"Dodo lives over there," Jack pointed to the West, at what looked like a small cottage. "And Mummy Dearest lives over there." Near the cottage was a castle. Jack pointed to it. "Remember," he said, "they both hate us. Especially you, Alice. So be careful. And they're both likely to be in the White Queen's castle."

"What happened to the White Queen?" asked Alice.

"Beheaded. Last year," I answered.

"So, on with the plan?" asked Violet.

"Yep," said Alice, "Hatter, do you have your cell?"

I checked my pockets and pulled out a cell phone. "Yeah."

"Call me when you're thrown into jail or something."

I nodded. "Kiss for good luck?"

Alice kissed me one last time before I headed into the castle.

****

"Hello?" I called out. "Anyone here?"

No answer. Just echoes.

I started to hum to myself. Occasionally I would call out something like, "Look at me! Defenseless and injured!"

Nothing.

"I'm in the middle of the enemy's palace and the one time I want trouble, I don't get it," I muttered.

"What?" A feminine voice answered my muttering.

"Who's there?" I spun around to find the source of the voice.

"No one of consequence."

"Oh really? Then come out and face me, coward," I taunted.

"Are you really alone or do you have friends hiding somewhere?"  
"Why would I tell you that? But yeah, totally alone." I continued to walk along the hallway.

"I wouldn't step there."

I stopped in my tracks. "What? Why?" I asked.

"That's a trap, right there."

"Thank you, I guess." I stepped around the spot. "Wait a minute, why are you helping me?"

"I dunno," answered the voice, "possibly because I know you quite personally and I don't wish you harm."

"So you're friend, not foe?" I asked the obvious.

"Hopefully."

"How come I can't see you?"

"Because I don't feel the need to be seen."

"How can you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Be invisible."

"Oh. Cheshire cat technology," she replied easily.

"Where's Dodo? The Queen of Hearts?"

"Second floor. Why?"

"Because of the plan." I was telling a lot to a person I couldn't even see. In my mind, I went through all the women who knew me personally, other than Violet and Alice. No one in particular came to mind.

"Hmmm. Don't tell me the plan, I don't want to know."

"Are there any stairs here?" I wondered aloud, "Or some sorta way up?"

"There's an elevator to you're left," advised to helpful voice. "Although, I wouldn't suggest going there at the moment. Dodo's in a fit and the Queen's taking a nap."

"Wonderful," I said sarcastically, "all the better." I reached the elevator. Quickly, I ran inside and punched the second floor button. Up rose the elevator.

The doors open to what looked like another hallway.

"Would anyone like to attempt to kill me again?" I yelled. "I mean, you both have before but-"

I was cut off by the Dodo, who burst out of one of the numerous rooms at the sound of the voice. "You! I swore my men killed you!"

"Obviously not. But I am alone now, so go ahead, I really don't mind," I said. I began to tell a false story, "My girlfriend's abandoned me. It's quite a sad story, actually-"

"I could care less." Dodo clapped. Three armed guards came out from behind the pillars. "Take him to the dungeon."

"A dungeon? Really?"

"Yeah, now let's get going." A guard hit me in the back with his gun.

"Oi! Watch where you're poking that thing!" Quietly, I pulled the phone out of my pocket. I clicked the phone to dial Alice.

She picked up immediately. "Hello? Hatter?"

I cleared my throat.

"Oh!" She hung up.

*****

"See, I told you not to go annoying them," said the voice.

"It was part of the plan!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, whatever. So do you wait until you're rescued by whoever you called or do I have to do it?"

"Who _are_ you?" I cried.

"A queen, that's all I'll say."

"The Queen of Hearts?"

"No."

"Hmmmmm." I thought about that.

"You never answered my question."

"Alice, my girlfriend, should be here fairly soon."

"You must really trust her."

"Yeah, with my life."

"I approve of her."

"And I care about what you think, why?" I asked.

"I shouldn't have said that."

. "Okay..." I raised an eyebrow.

My phone began to ring. Quickly, I answered it. "Hello?"

"Hatter, where are you?" asked Alice.

"The dungeon."

"Where's that?"

"No idea."

"Tell her it's below the basement." The queen I couldn't see told me.

"Below the basement," I said to Alice.

"I'll be down there in a min-"  
"Drop the thing and come out with your hands up."

Immediately I dropped the phone and walked out of the cell doors. Dodo, pointing a gun at my back, lead me to a chair.

"Oh, not this bloody thing again," I cursed as Dodo handcuffed my wrists to the chair's arms.

"Where's your precious Alice now, Hatter?" taunted Dodo.

"I dunno, you've got me."

"Really?"

"What is it you want anyway?"

"Power, riches. Everything."

"So, why am I in the way?"

"You aren't. You're girlfriend is."

"But you have the ring. Which means total and complete power here."

"No, I don't. Alice does."

"No she doesn't," I argued.

"Yes, she does, because I don't."

"You're both wrong." A woman in shimmering white clothing appeared out of no where.

Dodo spun around to face the source of the voice whom I had been speaking to earlier.

"Mum?" I asked, unbelieving.

"Oh-oh my. But-but the Queen executed you last summer," stuttered Dodo.

Before us stood the White Queen, my mum.

"Not so," she said, "And, by the way, I've the ring."

"How-?" asked Dodo.

"Mum!" I exclaimed, "But-but, you left when I was 15! When did you become the White Queen?"

"When I left you're father, I went off and married the then-White Prince. And he inherited the throne. We ruled for 15 years and then the Queen of Hearts took power. She murdered my husband and attempted to murder me, but I ran off and hid with the White Knight for a while."

"That's Charlie!" I cried.

"Yes, and when the Queen was tired of looking for me, she gave up and told the public that I was beheaded. Dodo, untie my son."

"Yes-yes ma'am." He scrambled over to my chair and released me.

"And you have the ring, Mum?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Hatter, there you are!" Alice ran from a stairwell behind us. "Who is this?"

"Alice, this is the White Queen, my mum."

"You said she was beheaded last year!" Alice didn't understand.

"I wasn't actually murdered."

"Oh."

"Mum, this is Alice, my girlfriend," I finished introducing them to each other.

"Lovely to meet you, ma'am." Alice held out her hand.

"No need for formalities," said my mum who shook Alice's hand warmly.

"Where are Jack and Violet?" I asked Alice.

"We split up to find you."  
"You shouldn't have done that." Dodo noted.

"Why not?" I asked.

"The Queen of Hearts is liable to find them." The Dodo's face turned to an evil grin.


	12. Chapter 12

_Note: When I say "The Queen" I'm referring to the Queen of Hearts, not the White Queen.

* * *

_

The three of us (Mum, Alice and me) ran to the stairs and climbed them as quickly as possible. We reached the top floor to fine the Queen of Hearts standing over Jack and Violet, who were tied up and kneeling, with an axe.

"-so I'll just have to take off your heads myself, you insolent children!" she screamed.

Violet began to weep. "Please, we just wanted-"

"I don't care what you want! I've tried to get rid of you both and you've always gotten away!" she yelled.

"We don't have it!" Jack exclaimed.

The Queen held up Jack's chin with one hand. "Don't lie to me, boy. Where is it?" she said through clenched teeth.

"Don't hurt him! We don't have the ring!" A fresh wave of tears poured down Violet's face.

"Jack!" Alice ran into the room.

I followed close behind. "Violet!"

"Let them go." My mother walked up to the Queen.

"Why should I?"

"They do not have the ring."

"Then where is it?" the Queen screamed.

Mum calmly answered her. "I have it."

The Queen held out her hand expectantly. "Hand it over."

"No."

During this, Alice and I untied Jack and Violet and helped them up.

The Queen of Hearts welded her axe. "Give me the ring, damn it."

"No."

"GIVE IT!"

"No.

"Give it here now, and no one gets hurt."

"How many times must I say 'no?'"

I could hear someone coming up the stairs behind me. I turned to face the Dodo, who ran past me, holding a gun, at my mum.

"Mum!" I yelled.

The White Queen spun around to see the Dodo rushing at here. With ease, she knocked him unconscious.

Alice and I dragged him back and tied him to a pole with the rope that had been binding Jack and Violet.

Meanwhile, Jack was cradling a bawling Violet in his arms.

"Don't think you'll defeat me as easily as that miserable pawn you knocked out," threatened the Queen.

"David!" Mum called to me, "Catch!" She threw me a small white box.

"You just threw him the ring." The Queen of Heart's glared at me. "Give it here, boy."

"No. Catch, Alice!" I tossed it to Alice, who caught it. She chucked it to my mum again and in no time the three of us had formed a circle around the Queen, creating a Monkey in the Middle-like game.

"Give it here!" she whined, hopping up and down.

Violet stopped sobbing to laugh.

"Just give up!" shouted Alice.

The next time the box came to me, the Queen held out her arms in surrender. "I give up. You win."

"May I do the honors?" Violet had gotten up and walked over to us, holding a bit of rope.

"Go on," I replied.

***

We had given the ring to Jack, who proposed to Violet and became the King and Queen of Wonderland. The ring was returned and locked into place int the Looking Glass, never to be taken out again.

The White Queen took up inhabitance in the small cottage near the castle as a Lady-in-Waiting and personal advisor to the Queen of Wonderland.

The Queen of Hearts and the Dodo were locked up in the prison guarded by the Jabberwock.

After many weepy good-byes to Mum, Violet and Jack, Alice and I walked to the Looking Glass.

"So," said Alice, "you're real name _is _actually David?"

"Yes, but I've grown accustomed to Hatter," I replied simply.

"Alright, David."

"Don't push it, Alice. I've had a long day," I said as we reached the mirror.

"Same time?" she asked.

"Lemme carry you, it'll take a lot less time," I said, noting the last two times we had gone through the Looking Glass.

"Haha, you're very funny."

I held out my hand. She took it and squeezed. "Let's go then."

We hopped through, leaving Wonderland far behind.

***

"You two are home early," said Carol as we walked through her door.

It turns out that our week in Wonderland was only an hour on Earth.

"Well, we ran out of things to talk about," said Alice.

I nodded in agreement. "Well, I must be off. I have a couple things to do." I kissed Alice on the cheek. "See you later, Alice, Mrs. Hamilton. Good-bye."

And with that, I walked out the door, ending my adventure in Wonderland.

_THE END!!!!!

* * *

_

_I hope you enjoyed it! I'm not very good at endings... Sorry._

_I'm working on a Doctor Who Fanfic right now, if you want more to read by me. Thanks for reading!_


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